Styles of online commenting

Here are some styles of online commenting. What style do you prefer?

1. e-bullient

This is an enthusiastic response by a colleague or someone you would not mind as one.

2. e-ccentric

Defined as: a posted comment that has little-to-nothing to do with the original topic…it seems to have floated down from another planet, not upward from e-arth. Possibly see also: e-lliptical.

3. e-ffusive

Short and snappy reigns on the net. Ornate may suit the Bronte sisters, but in the novel world of cyberspace, the only taboo is a steady stream of compound-complex sentences. Example: Although some might venture to criticize me for my shameless and/or even peculiar verbosity, I nonetheless feel compelled to enter this spirited discussion here with my erudite colleagues, and I must incorporate the best of my experiences and perspective on higher education…


4. e-ven and odd

Although pleasant on the surface, do watch out as you read such a comment. This commenter may begin by laying it on quite thick; however, this may be just be to induce a gentle trance in the writer—or, less cynically, to build common ground. A sudden zap may be next, so beward. If you wrote what’s being discussed, don’t forget to keep your -elmet on.

5. e-gocentric

What’s wrong with a little self-promotion? Yes, that’s right: a little self-promotion. Repetition works in marketing, or so they say. They say. So plug your book, article, side business, college, or blog … whatever.

6. e-loquent

Something to strive for, and there are such posts in almost every discussion unless some the others listed here dominate the dynamic.

7. e-pidemic

When you start seeing the same type of comment over and over, perhaps it’s the beginning of one. Or perhaps it’s already too late, and there’s no stopping it. It’s endemic to the medium and social behavior, after all.

8. e-quanimity

This is rare cyberspace and possesses resonance. It sometimes makes people really mad, as in "what are you so calm about." Stay the course.

9. e-rased

If a comment is typed, edited, reflected upon, proofread, and even left for an hour to marinate -- but ends up deleted by the writer due to some second or third thought – will a ripple of communication still reverberate somewhere in the universe? Maybe not. At least the writer vented and got needed finger exercise.

10. e-rudite

This type of comment adds grace and eloquence to the discussion.

11. e-rythropsia

Think: Bull--the animal, not the other kind. Although, if the shoe fits…No matter what the topic, this poster sees red. And redder. And is not happy, paradoxically, until the whole queue of readers has eyes and veins bulging and hearts pounding and is digging into the ground with angry paws. ready to charge. If you prefer a less rustic image, think: blasting imaginary horns one after in a traffic jam, when there really is nowhere else to go. It’s the electronic equivalent of road rage.

12. e-scapist

This commenter adds a brushstroke of humor or whimsy to a discussion. Real names are rarely used, so there is no way to compliment the person.

13. e-stoppage

Legal readers may counter that this is really stretching it; however, very, very roughly I suggest that amounts to: Say it ain’t so, first, before the other poster does. It really works best if you read any posted comments from the bottom up.

14. e-viscerating

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the keyboard can be meaner (and faster).

Mus musculus (or a close relative). House mouse.